Fat and weak, what a disgrace.
Guess the champ got too lazy.
Ain't gonna fly now, he's just takin' up space.
Sold his gloves, threw his eggs down the drain.

But he's no bum, he works down the street.
He bought the neighborhood deli.
Back on his feet, now he's choppin' up meat.
Come inside, maybe you'll hear him say:

Try the rye or the kaiser,
They're on special tonight.
If you want, you can have an appetizer.
You might like our salami, and the liver's all right.
And they'd really go well with the rye,
Or the kaiser.

Never eats while on the job.
He heard it's good to stay hungry.
But he makes a pretty mean shish kabob.
Have a taste, they were mad fresh today.

Try the rye or the kaiser or the wheat or the white.
Maybe I can suggest an appetizer.
Stay away from the tuna, it smells funny tonight.
But you just can't go wrong with the rye,
Or the kaiser.

So today, his deli comes first.
Still he dreams of his past days of glory.
Goes in the back and beats up on the liverwurst,
All the while you can still hear him say:

It's the rye or the kaiser, it's the thrill of one bite.
Let me please be your catering advisor.
If you want substitutions, I won't put up a fight.
You can have your roast beef on the rye,
Or the kaiser.

The rye or the kaiser,
The rye or the kaiser,
The rye or the kaiser...